The French Coast Can Wait

I had been dreaming of spending two or three months somewhere along the French coast. Nothing spectacular. Breakfast. A swim in the sea. A walk. Maybe a little writing or painting. Time with my partner and our little son. Perhaps my older kids would come by for a while too. That was roughly how I imagined this summer. Things turned out differently.

Instead, my partner and I decided to spend around 40 days in the village where she grew up, in the heart of Austria. And somehow, while it looked quite different from what I had imagined, I think I got surprisingly close to what I had actually been looking for. Not because I stopped working. I didn’t.

There were business topics that needed attention, decisions to make, emails to answer and things that simply could not wait. Every now and then I opened the computer, made a call or dealt with something that needed dealing with. But work had a different place.

It was there, but it did not dictate the entire rhythm of the day. There was time for coffee. Time for conversations. Time for sitting around without needing to turn every hour into something useful. Time for having those tedious discussions you don’t want to be having but should. Time for a couple of motorcycle rides and time to go for a swim… because it was hot and also during the rain.

Most importantly there was time for people.

Time with the people who are here now

Seeing Opa carrying him around, talking to him, playing with him and simply having him close was one of those things that does not look particularly spectacular from the outside. But it truly mattered. At some point my own father came over too, and we spent half a day together. Again, nothing extraordinary happened. But it did happen and that was exactly the point.

There are things in life that can be postponed almost indefinitely. Trips can usually be taken later. Projects can sometimes wait a few days. The French coast will most likely still be there in ten or twenty years. People are different.

Some of the people we love are likely to leave before us. That is not a particularly comfortable thought, but it is a real one. And so, for these weeks, it felt right to give those relationships more space. Family time is not always easy, harmonious or comfortable… often far from it. BUT spending a lot of time together also means encountering differences, habits, old patterns and sometimes friction.

But I believe it nourishes something deeper and may make us aware of what we want to work on. I truly believe it’s important to us as human beings.

Working and resting

Reflecting over these weeks I have to recall the Zen story I once came across:

A student finds the master sitting quietly beneath a tree.
“Master, what are you doing?”
“I am working,” the master replies.

Later, the student sees him chopping wood.
“And now, Master, you are working?”
“No,” says the master. “Now I am resting.”

I have always liked that story. Because sometimes a period that looks less productive from the outside is actually a period in which a lot is happening. That is probably what these weeks were for me. I observed a lot. I was busy but wasn’t either.

I reflected on quite a few things. I watched people. I watched myself. I thought about work, family, responsibility and what I actually want to spend the coming years doing. And slowly, some things became clearer. Not in the sense of having found a completely new direction. Quite the opposite.

I don’t need to reinvent my life

I don’t feel the need or desire to reinvent my life or start all over again. I have the feeling a lot of things are now able to unfold and develop. That is not a sudden realization. It feels more like a confirmation of events and decisions that I have subconsciously already taken weeks and months ago. These weeks confirmed that.

I want to take responsibility for the company my parents built and develop it further. It fills me with joy contribute to making the company grow and to make amazing projects fall into place. I have the strong pull to create more successful projects and turn some new ideas into things that actually work.

And I want to continue working on international development and impact projects through the Irish company (INQS) which I am directing. As this organization we are able to contribute to sustainable positive change in this world. There are lots of projects that need to be done and we can contribute. Isn’t that amazing?

I also came back with a clearer awareness that this path is still very much under construction. There is a lot I want to build, shape and improve. Professionally, but certainly not only professionally. There is room for growth and learning. And that is amazing too.

Coming back

Towards the end of our stay, something else happened that I took as a good sign. I was really eager for going back to the office. Not because I had been bored. And not because I wanted to escape family life. I simply felt ready to get things moving again.

Ideas that had been circulating in my head wanted to become concrete. There was new energy again and the good feeling that the basis is still there. Maybe that is what a good break — even one in which you continue working — can sometimes do. It does not necessarily remove you from your life. It gives you enough distance to see it.

And then, if you are lucky, you return not with the desire to run away from what you were doing, but with a clearer sense of why you want to continue.

I am very thankful that we had these weeks. For the conversations. For the ordinary days. For seeing our son with his grandfather. For having my own father around for a moment. For spending time on my motorcycle. For spending a significant amount of time with my little one and for spending time with my beloved partner.

…and for having enough time to observe and think. For coming back with the feeling that I do not need to start over. I just need to keep building and taking good decisions.

And the French coast? I still want to go. But it can wait.